Leaderdship Isn’t About Being Popular: Lessons from the 80’s

Let me take you back to high school for a second. (And trust me, I loved high school. Being a teenager in the 80s? It was awesome…big hair, mix tapes, and no internet pressure.) I was a decent student, a soccer and field hockey player, on student council, and yes, I liked to party. My friend groups were fluid, made up of people with value and values. I was friendly with everyone: the jocks, musicians, drama kids, metal-heads, brainiacs, and more. I didn’t feel the need to belong to one group; I just connected with people who had different perspectives to offer.

What I realized then, and still carry with me today, is that I didn’t need to be liked by everyone to accomplish my goals. I focused on what I needed to do, collaborated (aka hungout) “A” level people and got stuff done. I really didn’t worry too much about fitting in or seeking approval.

As I’ve grown in leadership, I’ve realized that trying to be liked can actually hold you back. If you’re always aiming to please, you’re not pushing for growth. Your team needs someone willing to make tough calls, have difficult conversations, and guide them, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Leadership is about clarity, confidence, and courage… you are not collecting "likes." It’s about creating an environment where people feel valued and empowered to grow, even when they don’t always agree with you. The hardest part of leadership is accepting you won’t always be the favorite, and that’s okay.

If you're stuck, and the pressure to be liked is holding you back, let’s talk.

I’ve been there, and I can help you get on the path to becoming the leader your team truly needs, not the one they just want to like.

-Daphne Phalon - dphalon@lucent-strategies.com